9 replies to this topic

[Eli L]

I just found this site and thought it was great

http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com/


Click the link and see what it is

[Ad Bot]

[River B]

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Client: I’m having a problem with my password.

Me: What seems to be the trouble?

Client: Well, I type it in but it turns into stars.

Funny as hell.

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Client (after telling me the idea for the website): How much will that cost?

Me: Well, you’ve given me a lot of info. I’d like to organize all of these ideas and get back to you with an appropriate quote.

Client: I’d like to get it going as soon as possible. How’s $250?

Me: Uh… that’s a little low. I’d feel more comfortable just giving you an official quote and we can see if we can work out a payment plan.

Client: Alright, how about this. I’ll give you the $250 for this project and this other project I have. It’s a porn site for this 70-year-old woman. $250 for both sites AND 15% of the profits from that site.

Me: (speechless)

Client: And I’ll blow you.

....



Nice find Eli. XDDD

[Matty B]

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I was designing a brochure for a client that sells post-pregnancy corsets. They wanted me to have a page full of testimonials and recommendations. For the initial comps I used fake names and testimonials from doctors that I made up on the spot.

When it was time to finalize the brochure for the printers, I asked them to please give me the real testimonials…their response….

Client: “No, we really like the ones you wrote. They sound more convincing. Use those.”

Me: …………..

LMFAO.. Love it

*keeps reading*

[malcom]

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Client: “I’ve sent the image. I can’t wait to see the final product.”

Me: “This image is 115px x 148px at 72dpi. Typically we need images around 1000px and higher with around 150+dpi.”

Client: “Can’t you just Enhance the images like they do in CSI?”

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“If payment for services is not received, all work must still be completed.”

[theimben]

Most of them are just stupid lol

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Client: “The logo looks great, but can we change the address font to Arabic? I need it for my Middle Eastern viewers.”

Me: “Actually, Arabic is a name of that font you sent me, it doesn’t actually change the words into another language. I can purchase a actual Arabic font, and figure out how to turn it into Arabic….”

Client: “So New Times Roman doesn’t change the words into Italian?”

Me: “No, Times New Roman is just a standard…”

Client: “Are you sure? Let me call you back after I check Word 2009. I have the newest version, so maybe it only does it in the newer version. I’ll give you a call back later today. Thanks.”

[Jonathan J]

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That other website is stealing our business. Can you make it so that when someone types in their address they come to our site?

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Above all, when you redesign the website, I don’t want any HTML in it. I’m tired of dealing with all the hassles of HTML.

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I don’t have money to pay you, but this silk shirt is worth at least $60. Here, take it!

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The woman in this photo is perfect, but she needs to be disabled. Can you photoshop her so she only has one arm?

[leke]

I worked in this restaurant one time and my boss found out I coded my own site. So naturally the tight arse had me redesign his site for my own job security. Anyway, one of the best lines he gave me was, "I want you to make my site the number 1 search result when someone types 'restaurant' in to Google".

[tsokira]

Haha, I love this site! Been reading it everyday for the past 2 months along with FMylife!

[King Herring XIV]

Wow this site is awesome, great find. Bookmarked.

[Lucas C]

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Phone call at 8 in the morning.

Client: ”I’m very disappointed in you not responding to my urgent emails! I flagged them URGENT!”

Me: “Uh, we’re technically not open for another half hour, what time did you send the emails?”

Client: ”Around 3am! I’ve been waiting FIVE HOURS for you to respond! You’re hardly treating it as urgent!”

Well, they were flagged URGENT.